i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
