..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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