We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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