Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Randomize
