You can't motorboat a personality
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
