I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
