So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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