We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
