So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We need to get me chipped asap
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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