Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
