You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
