Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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