Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
