As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
