K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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