He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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