you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
