This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you had me at cake vodka
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
