Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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