Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
time to smoke my breakfast
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
