That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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