he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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