i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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