Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
