can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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