I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
