Non-Jews are for practice
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
