I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
3pm strippers are depressing
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
