sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
bring money and cleavage
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
