Yo dont text me then not text me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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