Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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