I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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