Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
