Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
