its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
