If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
