You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
