bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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