I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
