I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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