dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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