You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
