I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
