The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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