If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
