I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
