You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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