there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
