I feel great
I just peed on a car
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
