The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think my moral compass just broke
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